Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Great Debate

Not so much a debate among others...but more so between me, myself and I.

While it has long stood in my mind that when I got pregnant I did not want to know the gender until birth, I am now contemplating finding out. Let me first start by saying that no one person or people have influenced this idea. I've always been strong willed in everything I do and one of my favorite things are surprises, hence not wanting to find out. 

{image found here}

I've had many friends and family who have been pregnant over the last few years and I've always asked so many questions and been so curious about the whole pregnancy process, and excited for when it would be my turn. I've told many people that I knew I didn't want to find out when I would become pregnant and believe me I've gotten the looks and the "How could you possibly wait?". I've always thought how cool and special it would be to wait until birth to know if you had a little girl or a little boy inside that belly. After all, waiting 9 months to see what she/he looks like, why not wait to know if it is a he or a she?? I have a few friends who have waited and they've told me what a surprise and how fun it was to wait and the anticipation that built up made the labor process that much better; for one taking your mind off of other things. My parents waited to find out what I was and they were pleasantly surprised. My dad always told me he just knew I was a girl. Back 20-30+ years ago there wasn't the technology to find out the gender so everyone had to wait .

Now for the other side. 
{There is the whole planning and buying gifts bonus to knowing.} But I don't want to know just so people can buy me a blue blanket versus a green/brown/yellow one which I would love to use for either a boy or a girl. True, it would be much easier to plan the nursery, clothes, themes, equipment and such especially since this is our first child and we can use all the help we can take. But I'm completely fine with decorating in gender neutral colors. I personally love the greens/browns/yellows/blues and I would happily dress or carry or be seen with a girl or a boy in those colors.

{The name decision process.} While Josh and I have talked about kids' names for years, both knowing we wanted kids in our future, it is always fun to talk about possible names. This is one of the things I love about being pregnant and knowing we are creating a life. Names are so unique to each person's personality, I just think it is fun. It is just as easy to come up with one gender name as it is to come up with one name of each gender. However, I do agree with the argument that by knowing the gender and calling the baby by his or her name I would feel more like I "know" him or her and get to know him or her better. More personalized than talking to my belly saying "hi baby" for the next 6 months. Also, by knowing the gender, we can really decide if we like that name or not, but I feel like we are basically set on our names.

I suppose those are the two biggest factors in my mind on "to know or not to know". So hard. I know how most other people stand on this topic in my family and circle of friends. And I appreciate so much those that tell me "it's your baby, in your belly, you do what you want". Which is great. And I'm honestly not letting people influence me at all, I'm really taking this all into consideration. For one, Josh has told me how he feels: he really wants to find out, but I know he'd support whatever decision I make. I don't want to make a decision with the mind set "this is my baby" because it is our baby and he should have a say and an opinion in the matter. Such tough decisions!

I'm not to sure if you can opt to find out the gender after the regular 18-20 week window, so I suppose we'll have to decide soon. I go in for the ultra sound a week from Monday. 

Anyone have any tips/advice/suggestions/pros or cons to the topic? I know it is ultimately a personal decision but it's nice to hear what other people think/have done.


Leota said...

Char...they will have the gender recorded so if down the road you want to know you just have to call the office.

Tylaine said...

You could have the tech just tell your husband until you decide what you want.
I had to find out with all three of mine. I could actually tell with my third on the ultrasound what it was before they told me and the other two we knew. Parents have a feeling about this thing.
But anyway it was fun to know so you can buy all the cute stuff and pick out a name like you said...I think it kinda helps to make the baby more "real" to you knowing their name before they're born.