Thursday, August 16, 2012

Little Bean

This time last year was a very different view than today. Hard to image it was just Josh, Lucy and I as we were patiently waiting for Baby Dewey to arrive. I understood the concept that I was about to become a Mom but what all that entailed I had absolutely no clue. The way in which this little person has changed us is amazing.

My letter to my little Bean. [it is long, and may bring happy tears. you've been warned]

Little Bean,

How time flies. Everyone says that, and yes I understand how fast it really does go. But goodness, nearly a year ago you came into this world as a small little person not having any idea what anything is and now you sit on the floor crawling all over, pulling yourself up, point at things (mainly the fan or window or Lucy the cat) and talking letting us know just what is going on. Nearly a year ago your biggest concern was eating and filling your tummy so you could rest. Now, still eating is a big thing but you also are concerned with where mommy went or what noise daddy is making and where Lucy ran to. The amount of knowledge and learning you've done in 11 short months is amazing. Growing hair, teeth and in length have been some big accomplishments and though painful at times (the teeth mainly) you have gotten through it with flying colors, and lots of cuddles from mommy and daddy. 

20 years from now I will tell you the story of the day you were born. Gosh, this brings tears to my eyes now just writing this. Hang on for a second, it gets better. Your mom can be emotional at times, bare with me. I will tell you how your Uncle Jimmy and I played Wii bowling and ninja games all day which made you squirm lots in my belly. I'll tell you how your Memaw came out and we tried so hard to get you to come when she was here but you must have been shy. I'll tell you how a regular doctor's appointment turned into a trip to the hospital to be admitted and how you would make an appearance about 12 hours later. 

While you have so many characteristics of both your mommy and daddy, many of which we are still learning and pointing out, you have lots of little things about you that remind us of your Memaw, Grandpa, Grandma Kim, Grandpa Dan, your Aunt Steph and Uncle Jimmy and even things about you remind me of your great grandma and grandpa whom you've never met and your grandpa Moon whom you've not met either. You truly are a mix and a melting pot of a person. That makes you so unique! 

Continuously I sit and remember those first few weeks with you. Gosh how lost and helpless I felt. My instincts came into play as to what to do, but it sure took a while. There just is no training to do or learn with a newborn. I expected the sleepless nights, which were in play, and the long days. Looking back now, I feel kind of silly for the questions I had, but they were valid at the time. After all, this is my first time doing this as it was yours. We made it though. Nothing we couldn't handle. I laugh now, but I remember a number of nights where me or daddy would wake up to feed or change you and we would be searching through the blankets on our bed for you. You were safe in your crib next to our bed but we were so extremely tired we just thought you were right there next to us in bed, didn't help that we'd fallen asleep many times in our bed so this was a pretty valid thing. Sleep deprivation was well underway. 

Many more years ahead of us now. This first year has been filled with so many laughs, giggles, cuddles, bumps, scrapes, naps and food fights. I want to remember everything about this first year. My heart is so full of love for you little guy, you may never know that. Your daddy and I are so proud of you and so proud to be your parents. God knew what he was doing when he chose us to be your parents and you to be our son. Tears again. I love you Jackson, more than you'll ever know.

Love, Mommy

1 comment:

Carole Peck said...

Oh you warned me but I read it anyway, now crying buckets of joy as the last year came rolling through my memory. I'm so glad you've experienced what will be your greatest joy, your child, forever in your hearts. (as mine still are) hearts overflowing with love for you, our bean! Memaw