While working on our site and adding new things, updating and changing things around I sit and think back to when I first created this site and why I created it. At first, I decided to make this for friends and family and give them a way to keep up to date with things that were going on with us and a way to view pictures that we post, since I have a tendency to take a LOT of pictures. Now it has become more of a notebook for things that are going on, a photo album, scrapbook of ideas and new articles of what is going on in our lives and even more so of a window into our lives since we are now much farther away from friends and family. It is also a place to express adventures and struggles in everyday life as we make our way down the un-trekked path together.
While I look back to how many posts I've posted and readers we have, I am thankful to have such a great handful of readers who continue to keep up with what we are doing. Thank you for reading and keeping in touch with us and our lives. I sure do appreciate it and love to read what others are doing. If it weren't for some of you filling me in on your lives and what is going on with you, I may feel more in the dark than I already do being 900 plus miles away.
While I look back to when I started this site, and this is very hard for me to do, I notice the date. The exact date and time of my first post. I guess I never really thought much about it or looked in to it much until tonight. And why tonight was the night, I'm not fully positive. I do know that he is always with me and I'm always thinking of him, talking about him and to him everyday. Very much of an idol, role model, someone I looked up to, still look up to, and continue to involve in my life everyday he is missed, loved and never forgotten.
The date I started this site, April 12, 2009. Easter Sunday. 10:09am was the first post. While I know exactly where I was that day and what I did, it feels just like yesterday and gives me chills to think about it. I was at work in Boulder. I got off work early that day, Sunday's were pretty quite and the guys I worked with were really nice and let me go early since it was a holiday and I did have plans to spend it with family. Probably the first Easter that I'd spent with this side of family, it surely was an Easter I'll never forget, and ironically now Easter means quite a bit of difference to me.
I called D'anne on my way down to see her and the family. In good spirits and a cheerful voice I headed her way. Seeing Ava, May and Tea was a blast. They were getting so big and just being little girls. I love these girls dearly and can't wait to see what lovely young ladies they become. It is always great to see Danny, Alexa and D'anne. While I've never had older siblings these three do justice to serve that void. Alexa and D'anne really are the older sisters I never got to have. Aunt Sandi has always been such a wonderful and amazing woman, I absolutely loved every holiday growing up that we got to spend with her and Uncle Gary. Uncle Gary was doing well, not the best but doing good considering the condition he was in. He was so cute, when I walked in the first thing he said to me when I came over to him was "Hey Kid". From the time I was very young I can remember him calling me 'Kid' all the time. Maybe this was my special nickname or maybe he called everyone 'Kid', either way I like to think it was my own nickname. It was great to see him and everyone. Like I said, usually I saw this side of the family for Thanksgiving's or Christmas's so this was a treat to see them for Easter. It was just me who came down, but it was worth it. Like I can not express in words.
Easter will never be the same to me. Ever. This was the last time I got to see and talk to Unce Gary in person. While our goodbye's that day consisted of me saying "I'll see you soon Uncle Gary, I love you", he parted with "No Kid, I love you more". My heart hurts when I hear those words over in my head and I can not help but cry so hard. Today he sits in a picture frame on a bookshelf in my house and his picture of the Northern Lights in Alaska is a reminder of what he saw and what I will oneday see as well. We shared a love of science and physics. That I carry with me everyday.
Ironic that this site started that exact date and time? Perhaps. However I think it has part to do with life and what comes next. Who is in your life and how they touch it. Who you carry with you no matter the distance or time. The people and places that influence your future. It hurts to think about it, and it always will. But as long as you move on, while carrying him/her with you, you will be strong. He/she would want you to be strong. They have never truely left your side.
Who do you carry with you each day? Who are your biggest influences and why?